Daughters and Judgement

My daughters bring me so much joy. I am so proud of them. Proud of how hard they work. Proud of their work ethic. Proud of their creativity. Proud of how they love one another and the world around them. Proud that they respect themselves enough not to 'settle' for less than the best the world could offer them.

That isnt to say they are without faults, they have faults just like everybody else. I find the world so interesting sometimes. How we judge the faults of another to be so much more severe than our own. How we think we have the right to decide what is right or wrong for another person. That we choose to ignore God's laws when we break them, but put other people under the 'christian-o-meter' I call it and decide that their failings make them worse in Gods eyes. Those same people must ignore Jesus telling us to remove the plank from our own eye before we try to remove the splinter from somebody else's. In God's eyes all sins are the same. They are all sins, and Jesus died for the forgiveness of every single one of them. It is only in Man's hypocritical judgemental eyes that the sins are sorted and ranked. What we ignore is that we sort and rank using Man's law, but we try to ascribe it to the bible and call it God's Law. I promise, none of us would like it if we were dealing with God's Law. Ever curse? yep......go directly to jail, dont pass go. Ever covet another person's Ipod, House, Computer, Car, clothes? ....go directly to jail, dont pass go. Ever flirt with another person's spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend? ....go directly to jail, dont pass go. Ever talk ugly about a friend behind their back? Go to Jail and stay there...you have just broken the biggest of the commandments "to love ones neighbor as we love ourselves."

So many of my life views are far more conservative than liberal.......but I can't call myself a conservative. Conservatives lack empathy, they dont look at life through another's eyes. They tend to be narrowminded, and think they have the right to stand as judge and jury for others. How interesting that these same people also claim to have the market on christianity cornered! Jesus would turn in his grave, if he had stayed there more than three days.

I digress......what else is new, right?

My daughters are a source of pride to me. I dont care how others see them I see only the beautiful wonderful things about them. I guess I see them the way Jesus would see them, with unconditional love and a willingness to forgive them anything if they only ask.

I miss them both. I am excited to see my Laura Lou this weekend, give her a hug, watch her accomplishments with pride, and meet her 'child'.

I am glad that motherhood doesnt end ...it just changes forms.

The End

The End. Sometimes it is so nice to say that and feel the peace and calm of concluding an episode of your life. That is how I feel about the conclusion of the 'Little Shop' episode of my life. The show went well. Talented talented people. Audiences were entertained. Mission accomplished. Job done.

When I started the community theatre it was with a hope of bringing theatre to life in harris county, bridging the gap between kids and adults, creating a thriving community of the arts here. Two years later - A few of us kill ourselves to bring theatre to the stage. We are all worn out and tired of having to fight with others to help pull their weight on any given project. The 'expectation' is that that core few of us will do whatever it takes ...mostly without thanks. The End.

I might, somewhere down the road attempt another venture, but at the moment I am not at all inclined to do so. I am not inclined to do anything more with it at all. I have committed to summer camp this summer, but beyond that - time will tell. My vision of Theatre is a vision of collaboration - that vision is not being realized and I am weary and I am tired of wearing out the core who commit their time and effort to help in a venture that I absolutely cannot complete on my own.

I 'should' feel sad, but I dont. I feel relieved to have one more thing off my plate of responsibilities. I am getting old enough to just want to relax and enjoy time with the people I love. (yes Rich, that means you)

So.....onward to new possibilities...dont know what they are...but when one door closes, another always opens that is ussually even better.

the play is the thing....or is it?

I am tired. I love theatre, but I am running out of steam. I think it is time for a break. I am going to take a break and do nothing more with the community theatre for the rest of this year. I cant - I am just tired and cant do it alone and it is too much of a drain on the few people who do help.

I am going to stick to quick and simple at school, except for the spring extravaganza..but thats different.

Anyway, off to final dress rehearsal for Little Shop of Horrors...glad it will be over this weekend.