Christmas....Cindy Lou or the Grinch?

For so long I have hated Christmas. I dont know why...I guess it always has meant an argument about lights for the tree...or tension about having enough money - or not enough to just let the spirit of giving pour out of me. I can always think of such thoughtful gifts, but.....money is always an issue and I end up stymied and frustrated by not being able to 'give' in the way I would like.

I loved Christmas as a kid. I remember barely sleeping as I waited for morning to come. Such excitement. I loved church and christmas carols and my Mom's big family coming over to all celebrate together.

When we moved to Georgia Christmas lost its wonder. No big family. No big excitement. Every year it was the guilt of not having enough money to give to others, and trying to scratch together enough to have a wonderful christmas for my own girls. Rich working the holiday didnt help either. No family except my own little girls to try to keep happy and not let them know for a single moment that it wasnt the most amazingly happy day to me. We baked Jesus a birthday cake every year and sang to him. We went to see movies. We sang songs. Anything so that they would believe I loved the holiday and they would love it too and look forward to it. That, and Rich made a career out of Grinch Impressions. He hated Christmas so much that it finally wore off on me and not only did I not look forward to the day, I became Mrs. Grinch.

When they got old enough the pretense stopped. I barely put up a tree. Rich didnt like it much that I hated Christmas. Interestingly enough....he started to like the holiday some at this point. Trying to encourage a tree, and the shopping, and some modicum of holiday cheer.

This year.....I am feeling a bit like Cindy Lou Who. My life is so good, I have so much to celebrate...that Christmas music, the tree...looking forward to a house full of family...is just wonderful :) I will take delight is cookign the roast beast, making who pudding, and making a day that isnt as much about presents as it is about spending time with the people I love, celebrating our traditions, and a new life with adult relationships that have so much substance. Yes, there is so much reason to enjoy Christmas this year. I think, other than Rich's reading of the book, that the Grinch will stay away this year.